So I've been thinking a lot about sacrifice, and the idea that you have to give something up to get something new. And, not only do you have to give something up, you have to give it up before you get the new thing. In the past, I've gotten things before space was made, but they were never quite what I needed, close, but not quite. Basically, if you want change, you have to sacrifice and have faith. Well, easy peasy, right? Yeah, that's what I thought.
There is now lots of room all of the sudden. Unfortunately, right now, the space doesn't feel like an opening--ready and welcoming. It feels like a great big pit in the middle of my chest, like a big, wide gaping wound.
I could attempt to fill it with cake and wine and nachos, but I'll try not to, because although it will be tasty, it won't come close to working. In the same vein that giving up chocolate isn't necessarily going to bring huge financial gains into my life. Sacrifices should be appropriate and timely.
As uncomfortable and saddened as I am, as friend recently stated, "if it doesn't hurt, it's not a sacrifice." If it's not a sacrifice, then it doesn't matter and you're not really making room for something new. As hard as it is to make a choice for what needs to go, it's even more painful to have it suddenly taken away. Ripping off the band-aid in this case is not easier. Willingly making sacrifices is not something most people want to do, but learning how to do so can be empowering as we speed up and ease the change in our lives. I know I have to have faith and I know that something just as important will come. That that hole will be filled. For as much pain and emptiness as I feel right now, it will soon be replaced with joy.
Astrologically, there is a lot going on for everyone. The last full moon was really tough for me, it illuminated a lot of truths about my surroundings, including many of the things I had to remove, as well as many wonderful I wasn't able to see underneath all the noise and clutter. Many things I had refused to see, but can no longer ignore. Today's new moon is especially powerful. For me, it will continue to shake things loose and give me room to move. It also promises to draw some energies into my life that have been AWOL for the last few years, which is a welcome change and relief.
As for what is coming, honestly, I'm a little nervous. But as I accept my loses and the emptiness turns to openness, I'm also getting a little excited. I think under normal circumstances, without that extra room, I would be terrified and overwhelmed. I think it's human nature that we need to make a sacrifice, so we can truly appreciate the new. I do see now that I had gotten buried and overloaded. So, now, instead of stressing about how I'm going to fit something else in with the twelve million other things I usually have going on, I will actually be able to recognize it when it appears and welcome it with open arms. Instead of being a burden, my gifts from the universe will be accepted and cherished with the gratitude they deserve.