Friday, July 15, 2011

Rising Up After Falling Down

Yesterday, I posted about change and mentioned how several things have recently departed from my life. Today...another one bites the dust. A pet project at work that I first approached with gusto was reassigned. Let me add that it was received with resistance and essentially no resources; the resources I did have available were uninterested or tapped out and all funding for tools I requested was denied. This resulted in ugly tension flaring up with co-workers, so I made peace with my co-workers and myself, made due with what I had, and kept things afloat, Every once in a while I'd try again until I just became complacent and the status quo remained, well, the status quo. The burden has been removed. I should be relieved, right? Not so much. I mean, I was in the room for the transition because I failed. No matter how unreasonable the feat, no one is ever, or should be, content with failure.

Whether the circumstances above were a reason or an excuse doesn't matter. Even when some of the resistance moved out of my way I still didn't make it happen. The reins were taken away and given to someone else--someone new, someone who doesn't know what he's in for, quite frankly. Now I have a choice. I can hand over the keys to the kingdom and become the resistance that I myself had to face, or I can check my ego at the door and get on board to try to make this happen...again. I know what I should do, I know what I want to do, but what will I do?

Is the project going away making room for a bigger and better project or this the opportunity? One against the machine didn't work. Two against the machine? Maybe. Especially with one who has the gusto and the drive to move forward and one who has the experience and wisdom to know how and when to tread these waters.

For now, until I know if this is my opportunity, I will be the bigger person. I will turn my failure into a position of empowerment. We all stand on the shoulders of those who came before us. While I stood with my feet flat on the ground facing the wall, I can either ensure he has the same fate, or I can lift him up enough for him to peak over the top. Maybe I'll be such the bigger person that I can try--after all, I'm only 5"2 and 3/4'--and raise him up enough that he can choose to leap over.

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